Weeping for Happiness (Lugg. 7)

Yesterday afternoon, I happened to see a sentence stating that the city of Hangzhou has been weeping for Haizi for three days. I was curious about that and asked my classmate who wrote down the poetic term about the meaning of it. Immediately after he told me the fact that Hangzhou has been raining for three days, I got the idea and shared empathy with him.
Thanks to him, I remembered it was the anniversary of the death of Haizi, the famous modern poet. It was on March 26, 1989 that Haizi committed suicide on the rail track, ending his youth, brilliance and poetry as the train passed by. I’ve no idea where his soul was taken to, neither did I care. He might have fulfilled his fantastic dream by reaching the ideal state above the heaven.
All I know about the weird poet is his well-known poem which I learnt in high school. “From tomorrow on, I will be a happy man.” The word “happy” is such frequently mentioned every day that we even feel nothing special on hearing it. Nevertheless, how many of us can, with complete confidence, claim that “I am doing what makes me happy”. Probably you will think twice before you conclude that. Does taking with a smile on face means happy, or why we do so is merely because we’ve formed the habit? Perhaps no one dares to say he’s absolutely happy.
I’ve been into trains and tracks since my first experience of taking a train more than a decade ago. I don’t know whether Haizi liked them, but in my opinion, if he must leave the world, it’s wiser to choose there. With the railway running parallel to the boundary of your visual world, your mind will also wander following your inner consciousness to the most central part of your heaven. The marching train resembles your life, with passengers off and on. There are some travelers who cover the whole journey, but you do want to get rid of them for long. On the other hand, one or two passers get off the train before you realize how much they mean to you. You are in full speed during some interval, while you drag yourself forward a little at a time when your fuel has run out. More than that, you might break down when an earthquake or something strike.
Singapore failed to show sympathy for Haizi and she seemed fairly cheerful nowadays. Isn’t time to hand out some raindrops?